As we’ve mentioned in our teaser episode, there are a few tales we would like to tell you ‘as is’, giving you the unabridged texts. Some of the translations we’ve checked sadly aged like fine, uh, milk. So we tried to select some of the bite-sized stories with more or less tolerable English versions.
The tale we are going to offer you today is called «The Princess Who Would Not Smile (Царевна-несмеяна)». It was one of the select tales collected by Alexander Afanasyev that were translated into English in 1900s. While it is a rather well-known story, it has its own peculiarities. Russian folklorist and scholar Vladimir Propp mentioned this tale when he was analyzing the idea of the undead in folklore in general. The character who is incapable of smiling, as well as the one who, say, lives underground, is technically dead— or at least very much supernatural, since there is no such thing as UNnatural in folk tales. The ability to smile and laugh is one of the markers of the living, according to Propp.
In case you were thinking of Snow White as another good example of an undead princess, stop right there. There is a version of Snow White in Russian. One of the most prominent Russian poets and writers, Alexander Pushkin, wrote a literary adaptation of it in 1833. Truth be told, there is nothing subtle about its title; his version of the tale is quite bluntly called, «The Tale of a Dead Princess and Seven Warriors».
Before we get to the actual text of today’s tale, there’s something else you should know. In the collection of “Russian Folk Tales” published in 1916 with notes and introduction by Leonard Arthur Magnus some of the words are intentionally left without translation, such as царевичи (princes) and бояpе (nobles). Worry not if you meet a word you can’t make sense of; just think of the way transliterated words are scattered around in «A Clockwork Orange». This is pretty much the same thing.
Our narrator for today is a voice you might find familiar if you’re as into horror podcasts as we are. Peter Joseph Lewis has already effortlessly wielded Russian phonetics in The White Vault podcast; it was only fair to let him choose a tale he would like to tell.
THE PRINCESS WHO WOULD NOT SMILE
If you think of it, what a big world God’s world is: in it rich and poor folk live, and there is room enough for them all; and the Lord overlooks and judges them all. There are fine folk who have holidays, there are wailful folk who must moil; every man has his lot.
In the Tsar’s palace, in the Prince’s chamber, every day the Princess Without a Smile grew fairer. What a life she had, what plenty, what beauty round her! There was enough of everything that exists that the soul may desire, but she never smiled, never laughed, and it seemed as though her heart could not rejoice at anything.
It was a bitter thing for the Tsar her father to gaze at his doleful daughter. He used to open his imperial palace to whoever would be his guest. «Come,» he said, «come and try to enliven the Princess Without a Smile: any one who succeeds shall gain her as his wife.» And as soon as he had said this all folk thronged up at the gates of the palace, driving up from all sides, coming on foot, Tsarévichi and princes’ sons, boyárs and noblemen, military folk and civil. Feasts were celebrated, rivers of mead flowed, and the Princess would not smile.
But, at the other end of the town, in his own little hut, there dwelt an honourable labourer. Every morning he used to sweep out the courtyard: every evening he used to pasture the cattle, and he was engaged in ceaseless labour. His master was a rich man, a just man, and he did not begrudge pay. When the year came to an end he put a purse of money on the table, «Take,» he said, «as much as you like»; and the master went outside.
The workman went up to the table and thought, «How shall I not be guilty in the eyes of God if I take too much for my labour?» So he took only one little coin, put it into the hollow of his hand and thought he would have a little drink. So he went to the well, and the coin slipped through his fingers and fell to the bottom. So the poor fellow had nothing left. Now, anybody else in his place would have cried out, would, have become melancholy and angry, might have put his hands up. He did nothing of the sort. «Everything,» he said, «comes from God. The Lord knows what He gives to each man, whose money He divides, from whom He takes the last money. Evidently I have given bad care, I have done little work; and now am I to become angry?»
So he set to work once more. And all that his hand touched flew like fire. Then, when the term was over, when one year more had gone by, the master again put a purse of money on the table: «Take,» he said, «as much as your soul desires»; and he himself went outside.
Then again the labourer thought how he should not offend God, how he should not take too much for his work. So he took one coin and he went to have a little drink at the well. In some way or other the money fell from his hands and the coin tumbled into the well and was lost.
So he set to work even more obstinately: at night he would not sleep and by day he would not eat. Other men saw their corn grow dry and yellow, but his master’s corn prospered amain. Some men’s cattle became bow-legged, but his master’s gambolled in the street. And the horses of some masters fell downhill, but his master’s could not be kept to the bridle. The master knew very well whom he must thank, to whom he must render gratitude. So, when the third year came to an end, he laid a pile of money on the table: «Take, my dear man, as much as your soul desires. It is your work, and it is your money»; and he went out of the room.
Once more the workman took a single coin, went to the well for a drink of water and looked, and the lost money floated up to the surface: so he took them, and he then felt sure that God had rewarded him for his labour. He was joyous and thought, «It is now the time for me to go and look at the white world and to learn of people.» So he thought this, and he went out whither his eyes gazed.
He went on to the field, and he saw a mouse running: «My friend, my dear gossip, give me a coin; I will be of service to you.»
So he gave the mouse a coin.
Then he went to the forest, and a beetle crept up and said, «My friend, my dear gossip, give me a coin; I will be of service to you.»
So he gave him the second coin.
Then he came up to the stream, and he met a sheat-fish. «My friend, my dear gossip, give me a coin; I shall be of service to you.»
And he could not refuse him, so he gave his last coin.
So then he came into the city. Oh, it was so thronged! All the doors were opened, and he looked, and the workman turned in all directions, and he did not know where to go. In front of him stood the Tsar’s palace decked with gold and silver, and at the window the Tsarévna Without a Smile sat and gazed on him straight. What should he do? The light in his eyes turned dark, and a sleep fell on him, and he fell straight into the mud. Up came the sheat-fish with his big whiskers, and after him the beetle and the mouse: they all ran up, they all pressed round him and did all the service they could. The little mouse took his coat: the beetle cleaned his boots, and the sheat-fish drove away the flies. The Princess Without a Smile gazed on their services, and she smiled.
«Who is he who, has enlivened my daughter?» cried the King. One man said «I,» and another man said «I.»
«No,» said the Princess, «that is the man there»; and she pointed out the workman.
Instantly he was taken into the palace, and the workman stood in the imperial presence, a youth such as never was; then the Tsar kept his princely word and gave what he had promised.
I am saying it. Was not this a mere dream? Did not the workman only dream it? They assure me this is not the fact, and that it all happened in real truth; so you must believe it.
Another peculiarity of this tale is that the animals are rather inefficient in their efforts to help. While it still provides a much needed breath (or, in this case — laugh) of life, their actions are as silly as the naïveté of the main hero. Now, a fool who is too honest and sincere for their own good is often the main character in Russian tales. In most cases, the help offered to the protagonist by animals is quite significant (fishing up a ring from the bottom of the sea, hunting an antagonistic shapeshifter in the skies, and so on). This, though— this is far from it.
It also should be noted that there are no premeditated heroic acts in this tale at all: fainting in front of a beautiful dead lady can hardly be called ‘heroic’ (or ‘premeditated’, for that matter). The princess herself is the one who explicitly names the main character as her savior, for she does know better.
(Undead girl power, yaaay..?)